Reality
by zini-ya
Summary: the time has come when Touya has to leave. He disappeared without a trace...it all happened when Toya and Aya's life is on its peak...now that he's gone...what will Aya do? Can she live without Toya?Will she succeed? complete...for the time being..hehehe
1. Parting

Reality

**Chapter One**

Parting

"Every parting gives a foretaste of death; every coming together again a foretaste of the resurrection." **Arthur Schopenhauer**** (1788 - 1860)**

Aya looked up to see Yuhi behind her. In his right hand, he was struggling to carry a large paper bag full of food while carrying Reka in his left hands. He was half-smiling, his eyes half-closed as though he's enduring something.

"Would you mind?" he asked and slowly forwarded to her the large paper bag. Without saying anything, she took the paper bag from him and walked towards the red car waiting for them.

Yuhi could only follow her with his eyes as she went inside the car's backseat. There was sadness and sympathy in his eyes. Sighing audibly, he decided to go inside the car's front seat. He felt Reka squirmed.

"What is it Reka? You want to go to your Mama?" he asked the six-year old daughter of Aya. Reka playfully played with his hair, not understanding anything he had said. "Sorry, but Mama's not feeling well. Maybe next time, hmm?" he told her pretending that he's talking with the same Reka few years ago.

He sighed again as he signaled the car driver to go on to their destination.

While on their way, Yuhi kept on glancing on Aya at the backseat. Aya still kept herself quiet the whole ride since they have left the Aogiri household. He couldn't help remember the past… The past three years that gradually changed Aya and her daughter, Reka…

_It was raining hard that day and Yuhi was forced to wake up from the continuous ringing of the telephone just outside his room. He lazily forced himself to wake up and go to answer whoever it is in the telephone that disturbed his deep slumber. _

"_Hello? Aog-" He started to speak when he was cut short by a familiar sob from the other line. "Aya? Is that you?"_

"_Yuhi-chan… he's gone…" the next thing he heard was Aya's muffle cry. It became louder as the moments pass. "I arrived this evening from Ms. Kawasaki's bake shop and found out he's gone. I looked for him everywhere. I went to the clinic where he said he'll have a check up this morning but he was never been there! What should I do? God! I shouldn't have left him alone. I should have known what would happen!" she continued between sobs._

_Yuhi couldn't think of anything to say as he himself fell to a deep shock that went through his nervous system, making him numb of everything. The moment of heinous truth he had dreaded to happen, just happened at the time he had less expected it. Three years ago… Toya told him that one day he would be gone. And that he would leave Aya and their child and it actually happened! Toya had known his future with Aya…_

"_What should I do? What should I do?" he heard Aya asking him almost hysterically. He felt his heart being squeezed like a sponge, his blood being pressed out. How was he to know what she should do?_

_The next Yuhi did was to run at Aya's house. He found her sitting in their bed. Her hands were covering her face, her shoulder shuddering as a sign that she was crying. Reka who was three year old at that time were on the other corner of the small room. Her green eyes were wide open, not even blinking while looking at her crying mother. _

_He could feel something bad about the room. Maybe it was the sadness that Aya has just encountered. Maybe it was Reka who was shocked on whatever she saw on the room. At her tender age, she should not be bound to see things which her young heart couldn't understand. Much more of her father's sudden disappearance…_

"_Reka!" Quickly, he ran to the little girl and checked her condition. She tried to shake the girl slightly to have her attention but her eyes remained unblinking. She was like a statue, a statue with eyes misted with tears. Suddenly, the girl let out a shrill cry. One that pierced through Yuhi's heart. She understands what happened inside the room. Yes, maybe she had seen it for she was always left with her father when Aya leaves… _

"We're here!" Yuuna's loud voice to inform them that they've already reached their destination woke Yuhi from those painful memories. "Ha! What a day we had today! I'm glad we're already here." He was talking as he slowly got out of the car. "What do you think, Yuhi? Aya?" he asked sliding in his head on the open window of Yuhi's seat. There was no answer from Aya, to which Yuuna just laughed on.

Yuhi eyed the big yet old guest house owned by the Aogiris. It was two-storey high, a typical Japanese house. There was no gate surrounding it, which was good because they haven't informed his father or Zusumi about their sudden arrival to the place. Neither of them would agree anyway. Even he, himself couldn't bring himself to agree to the main reason why they're in that "almost" forgotten place. "It was old." He said. "That's all." he added to his shocked friend, unexpecting Yuhi's blunt answer. Using his free hand, he reached for the handle of the door. "Aya, we're already here." He turned to tell Aya who didn't make any move to get out of the car.

"Let her be." came Yuuna's low voice. "She could get out of the car herself." He explained later to avoid having a misunderstanding between him and Yuhi. Without waiting for Yuhi's answer, he led the way toward the old house' closed doors and knocked.

"I thought there's no one staying in the house?" Yuhi asked curiously.

"Yeah. But the family hired a caretaker for the house. I called on him while we're on the way. Oh, don't worry, I told him not to tell anyone about us." He told him. It didn't take them a few moments before the front door opened, revealing a bald old man, wearing an old hakata. His eyes were almost unseen due to its too much kinkiness.

"Oh, it was you, Master Yuuna. Come inside, my wife cooked something for the four of you. Ah, you must be hungry after that long ride from Tokyo up here in the mountains." He invited them inside with vigor, bowing continuously to them. "Ah, you must be Master Yuhi, am I right?" he turned to Yuhi who was still carrying Reka in his arms.

"Ah, yeah. But there's no need for you to call me Master though. I'm used to-"

"Ah, that would disrespectful. You are one of the Aogiris to which we are serving loyally." He cut off. "Now, why don't you come inside and eat?" Yuuna and Yuhi nodded. Yuhi was about to call on Aya but he saw her slowly approaching so there was no need to do that.

Aya was still as quiet as before. It hurts him to see her like that. It seems that she was slowly losing all the reason to live and was slowly closing everyone, everything from her… even Reka…even him. She was slowly being eaten by the depression, loneliness, and longing that has not left her ever since the day Toya disappeared…

"Yuhi, do you really think this will solve everything?" Yuuna asked his cousin who was sitting in the couch, his brows almost interlocking as he was thinking very deeply.

"I don't know… But I don't want to see her like that! If this is the only way to help her, to stop her from falling deeper into darkness, I would." Yuhi answered with seriousness in his voice. He was looking down the floor, avoiding his cousin's eyes. "And," he said finally meeting Yuuna's eyes, "I know it's too dangerous, but I have to do it."

Yuuna sighed. He wanted so much to stop Yuhi from fulfilling Aya's wish, but it is also very important to him. The project. He has to think of it, if he still wants to remain on his work. He has a great feeling that it was the only thing that could save him. His _only_ salvation. Damn him. Damn his work. He wanted so much to stop him but he should think about his future. A prodigal son, that's what he is. His work is the only thing that he has to help him survive this cruel world since the day his father stopped supporting him.

"Tomorrow, we will climb up the mountain." Yuuna started. He saw Yuhi looked at him with questioning eyes. "I told you not to bring Reka, but you insisted. But don't worry; we could leave her with the caretaker and his wife." He told him. "Tell Aya to get ready and don't wear uncomfortable clothes, it could slow us down. The way up is rough and steep. I'm sorry Yuhi, but nobody could convince that _healer _to go down the mountains. He said he was used to living with nature, he was born with it, and will die together with it."

"It's alright, Yuuna. I know Aya won't complain for the sake of seeing Toya again. Anyway, what's more important is that he's tried and tested, am I right?" He looked at Yuuna for reassurance.

Yuuna gulped before answering. "Y-yes, of course. He has performed so many rituals in the past before and it was said that the Gods, through the nature favored him." He answered. His eyes avoiding Yuhi's, his forehead sweated. But Yuhi saw none of this as he was already gathering himself to sleep.

"Gotta go inform Aya." He informed him. "Goodnight." He said without looking back at him.

Aya already guessed it was behind the closed door. She stood up from the bed to open the door.

"Get ready, tomorrow we will go there." That was his first words. "Finally, you'll get to see him again." He said gently. Aya nodded and smiled. Yuhi smiled in return. He turned to go inside his own room which was in front of Aya's room.

"Thank You." Aya whispered, but enough for him to hear. Yuhi turned to see her. His heart almost stopped. Those smile… for a very long time, he craved to see it. If only he could see more than that… if only he could hear her laughter again. But he knows that that would be soon… Once they reach that healer or whatever he was called, the clouds that was there surrounding them for the past three years would be gone and he would see his smiles again… her sunny laughter… her eyes sparkling with happiness will be back again…

"Tomorrow… Aya… and this will be over…" he said, his eyes smiling down at her. Aya looked at him for a few second before finally bidding goodbye and closed the door…


	2. A Light of Hope

Chapter Two Chapter Two

A Light of Hope

"Were it not for hope the heart would break." **Charles A. Beard**

Aya woke up realizing that Reka was gone from her side. She remembered putting her arms around Aya and finally slept. And now, beside her, the pillow Reka used was in its proper place and the blanket they had shared was smoothly placed above her, all indicated that there was no one around the room, except her. She got up from the bed and looked around the room. It was then that she realized how modern it was, opposite to the outside image of the house. Everything here has a classic touch; the wall painting, the bed, the window and all furniture are carefully chosen to match the room. It was like a western room inside an eastern house.

Thinking that Reka must be with Yuhi again, Aya went inside the shower room to cleanse her self and get ready for breakfast and as well as to prepare for a long journey to the healer's house. A stranger to her a million miles away and yet, the only hope she has to see Toya again. By the time she went down, it was 7:30 and the dining table has just been filled with food for the four of them. She saw Yuhi just took his seat, minus Reka beside him.

"Aya, glad you're here. Sit down. Yuuna said he had already finished eating. That guy's really an early bird. He was used to waking up even at 5 a.m. just to have his morning walks." Yuhi greeted her with a pleasant look on his face. "Where's Reka? Isn't she going to eat with us?"

"No…I don't…Yuhi, I thought Reka's with you… I woke up this morning with Reka already gone from the bed so I thought…" Aya couldn't hear her words anymore as her own voice slowly gone.

"She was not with me… Aya, are you sure she wasn't there when you wake up?" Yuhi asked, trying to be calm for Aya's sake who is beginning to tremble.

"God…I should have looked for her! Yuhi, please…" Tears fell from her already swollen eyes. "Help me. Let's find her! I can't bear to…"

Just then, Yuuna came and asked what was happening. "What is happening here?" he asked, his hair still wet from bath.

"Reka's missing! We have to find her immediately. She might get lost in the forest!" Yuhi turned to him then to Aya. "Please, you have to be calm and find Reka!" he told her and after a few seconds, her shaking stopped. She nodded while wiping the tears that fell from her eyes.

"I- I think…I just saw a figure of a little girl running towards the forest just now…" Yuuna's reluctant voice was heard. Aya and Yuhi looked at the direction of Yuuna's eyes. He was looking to the window on their right. No one was there.

"I said, running towards the forest…" Yuuna said.

With that, the three of them hurriedly run towards the forest.

oOo

"Reka!" Aya called out. No one answered. They have been looking around the place for thirty minutes and still, there was no result.

"Yuuna!" Yuhi called the man running towards them. He was bathing in sweat already. So is Aya and Yuhi.

They felt the wind's cold breeze on their skin. It chilled them. Aya closed her eyes and out of nowhere, the memory of the dream she had last night dawned on her… It was still so vivid in her memory…so nostalgic. Seeing Toya again, feeling his warmth and the softness of his voice…the intensity of his green eyes. It was all with her until she woke up…

"_Aren't you being a little harder with Reka?"_

In an instant, Aya opened her eyes and looked on her surrounding. _"Toya! It was Toya!" _Another cold wind past at them…

"Mama!" Reka's loud voice echoed all around the forest. "Mama!" And yet to Aya, the earlier voice she heard engulfed her daughter's voice. She was so consumed on her own thoughts that Yuhi still has to shake her to wake her from her daytime dream.

"It was Reka's voice and it's in that direction." Yuhi said, pointing southwest. Yuuna already went running ahead of them. It wasn't long before they could keep up with him. They saw him standing still and Reka was not with him.

"Yuuna, where is Reka?" Yuhi asked. He didn't answered; instead, he urged them to look at where he is looking. They followed.

Reka was lifted above the ground, as though someone was cuddling her. Her arms were holding around on something. Like an invincible neck. "Reka…" Aya muttered. She couldn't help but to cover her mouth with her hands as that "someone" slowly became apparent from them. Her heartbeat pounded faster as a tall figure of a man came to their view. With red hair. With green eyes.

"Toya!" she exclaimed. She couldn't stop herself from crying.

Toya put down Reka on the ground who excitedly ran towards Aya and embraced her tightly. "Papa said he really misses you and that he couldn't wait to see you. He said, "be strong", Mama." The girl whispered to her with that innocent look in her eyes. Aya fell down on her knees and returned her daughter's embrace with more warmth. She looked again at the spot where Toya stood, but he wasn't already there. Disappointment. Hurt. Longing. She felt all of that… if only everything could be turned back to normal…

oOo

Aya gazed at her sleeping daughter on the bed. She was so beautiful, so much like her father. An angel... so much like Toya, inheriting his reddish hair, his green eyes... his lips... She couldn't see anything that resembles Reka to her.

_"Maybe when she grows up, that's when will see what she inherited from you." _she heard Toya's voice from her head. He said it on one of the times she complained on why Reka looked nothing like her.

_"But Toya, he's already two years old, and the more I look at her, the more I could see her resemblance to you!" _again, she heard Toya chuckling which made her angrier.

_"The way she moves and look, she's more like you...and when she sleeps... she's like a "little Aya" in my "ears"..."_ he told him which made Aya feel good but hearing his last words...

_"I hate you! I don't snore in my sleep!"_ she told him as she let herself free from his embrace.

_"I was just kidding, My Aya... But I think little Reka will grow more like you. Just you wait and see..."_ he told her, embracing her more tightly.

Aya's eyes filled with tears as she laid herself beside her daughter. "Toya... how could I wait for it without you?" Aya cried for her lost love...wishing that today's hope will not go for nothing...

* * *

Location: I couldn't provide the location of the place... the truth is, I don't live in Japan. Oh, I tried to think or make up a name for the location, but I just couldn't think of a good name... maybe I'm not yet that good...

Review! Review! Review!

Till next time!


	3. Heal

_Can Toya ever come back?_

**Chapter Three**

_"The goal remains love All, heal All and All will remedy All"_

_-from the family of Jacob  
_

Heal

"You are not the first one who came here." The healer, Masakazu said, as he sat with the three of them on his table, giving them the cups of tea that he had made for them. He was a small man but his built showed that he can still carry on living in the mountains alone without the assistance of other person. He was a little bit bald, and in his late 50s, and brawny to the point that someone who isn't good in judging a character would think that he is a member of a certain gangster group. Aya, Yuhi and Yuuna couldn't hide their surprise when they saw his house of refuge. It was a small nipa-hut with woods that's even older than the Healer. Their only consolation is when they went inside the house. Despite of all the furniture worn by the passage of time, the whole house is immaculately clean.

"But, I must warn you, Aya… Not all of them came back." Masakazu continued, looking directly at Aya's eyes. "There are also those who came back, but they are never the same again…"

"But, we were told that you are powerful…" Yuhi intervened, seeing that Aya's being affected. "Are you saying that we had just wasted our time in coming here?"

"Her husband is not _human_. He is a _spirit_ created by that Tennyo's manna… how can you be so sure that when he disappeared, he went to that place we call _heaven_ and had not totally disappeared? His spirit might have been broken into pieces, every small part of it floating in the air." The Healer explained.

Aya who understood what the Healer meant couldn't stop her tears and cried. What if what Masakazu said was true? How will he call him? How can Toya be revived?

"I saw him." Aya said, her two hands covering her face as she speak. "This morning, I saw him clearly…he even cuddled his daughter…I heard him spoke and Reka too, she told me that she spoke with his father!"

Masakazu didn't speak for a while, internalizing all that Aya has told him. "It seems you're situation is not usual. How can a _being_ like him exist?" he asked loudly for them to hear. _"I guess there's nothing wrong in trying... but...how will I explain to them the true nature of her husband when even I couldn't explain it? This is the first I was asked to do something like this..." _Masakazu told himself.

_A human and yet not a human. A spirit and yet not a spirit. _The Healer couldn't fathom what Toya is. Can Toya be considered a Celestial being _if _the fact that he was born from Ceres' celestial robe is to be considered? _Possible. "It seems that I'm losing my touch. Do I need to review all that I've learned before? But everything I've learned was something taught to me by my father...Do I need to get out in the city and search for more and learn more?" _Masakazu thought. What is he going to tell these people?

"Masakazu-san?" Yuuna called. "Is there something that you are hiding from us?"

"Aya, are you sure about these?" Masakazu asked. Hoping that the young widow would change her mind. What he said earlier about the spirits he was able to revive was partly true. What if instead of being able to call Aya's husband, he has called something horrible instead? Whatever it is, he needs to make sure that nothing bad happens!

"All right, then... But Aya, you must be sure that it is what you're heart wishes..." that was what the Healer said before he prepared and started the ritual...

oOo

"Toya..."

"Aya! Wake Up!" Yuhi tried to wake Aya when he suddenly felt him move in the bed where she was laid after she fainted. Carrying Aya on his back, Yuhi and Yuuna struggled to go back to the Aogiri rest house despite the invitation of the Healer for them to spend the night in his small house.

"Yuhi...it was- what happened?" Those were the first words he heard from Aya when she opened her eyes.

"Where is Toya?!" Aya jolted from the bed and faced Yuhi who was sitting in a chair beside the bed. An obvious excitement painted on her face, she was looking at Yuhi with those expectant eyes. "Where?"

Yuhi looked away. He didn't know what to say... Obviously, Aya does not remember what really happened at the Healer's house after she fainted from too much pressure... Her heart wasn't able to hold on from the stress she had these past three years and the anticipation she was feeling as the healer performs the ritual...

"Yuhi?" Aya called out. _Is something wrong with Yuhi?_, she thought. "Where...What is wrong? Why can't you look at me? Did it go wrong? Was it because I fainted? Please? Yuhi?"

"He's...Aya-chan, listen...the ritual-it didn't work out. Toya wasn't revived...I guess, he's gone forever..." Yuhi finally said. As he expected, Aya cried. Yuhi, sympathetically held Aya in his arms if at least it could ease the pain in her heart...

"Why? What went wrong? I thought if we go here, we will be seeing him again?" Aya asked like a child..."No..."

oOo

Earlier at Masakazu's dwelling…

It started to rain as soon as Masakazu started the ritual. The three of them were instructed to sit in triangular position and Masakazu was in the middle. Masakazu said it was his own of way of spirit summoning, which was even handed to him by his father.

"I though we're going to revive Toya?" Aya asked. Masakazu stopped from preparing the things to be used before for the ritual and faced Aya.

"A human and yet not a human. A spirit and yet not a spirit." He said which confused Aya. "I have to be make sure that he has a spirit. That he is a spirit and it is possible to call him…" he answered. He placed all the gizmos to be used in the ritual. A few palm leafs, an empty longneck bottle which was filled with some brown fiber-like things and yellowish water, a big black book and three candles which were lighted and put outside the triangle formed by Aya, Yuhi and Yuuna.

Masakazu sat in the middle, in front of him lays the now opened book and on its both sides were the bottle and the palm leaves. He read the book silently with his eyes, and then closed his eyes. He started to hum something they could not comprehend.

_Taluwan akn so niyawa…_

_Pangnin ko na pamakinagn…_

_O sii sa duniya pan na pamakinagn…_

A loud thunder was heard from the outside. All three of them looked at each other, worry and fear reflected on their faces.

"_Oh Toya…Please help this man on his ritual…show yourself before us…"_ Aya silently beseeched as she watches Masakazu doing his thing. He was already pouring some of the liquid on his palm and to the horror of those who were watching him, he slowly drunk the liquid.

"What the hell?!" Yuuna whispered to himself. Disbelief was painted on his face. Simultaneously, another thunder stroke outside, this time more disturbingly loud. And it had put shiver down to Yuuna's spine.

_Sisaya so paki talu ruka!_

_Sung ka sii dun! _

_Sung ka sii dun!_

Masakazu's shouting voice was heard despite the roaring thunder. Without warning, Yuuna broke off from the triangle. "I can't take it anymore!" he said to the healer who was still busy on his spell. On his hands were the palm leaves he was waving up in the air. "Hey! I said I can't take this anymore!"

"Yuhi!" Aya called. There was panic in her voice.

"Yuuna, stop that! We're here for the ritual. Go back to your place before Masakazu gets distracted!" Yuhi told him, his voice made louder in order to be heard. But Yuuna didn't listen.

"Stop this, now! This is bullshit! This is fake! I knew it!" He shouted it. "Yuhi, let's go back. Anyway, why do you have to put up with these shit anyway? What?! For this bitch?" he said sardonically while pointing his fingers at Aya who have become still, watching all that's happening in front of her. The healer waving the palm leaves and Yuuna who was angrily throwing her those words.

Without further ado, Yuhi stood up from his seat and assaulted Yuuna. "Why are you doing this? You've even helped us and now you're the one to destroy it? No way!" he said after giving the guy a punch strong enough to hurl him on the floor. As if woken from a trance, Yuuna could only look up at him while his right hand caresses his injured jaw.

"What is happening here? The ritual's already been broken because of you two!" Masakazu's voice was what woke the two man from those hateful stares they're throwing at each other.

"This man-"Yuhi stopped abruptly when he heard a loud thud. Masakazu, Yuhi and Yuuna all looked at Aya's direction. The loud thud was actually from Aya who have fallen unconsciously to the floor on her right side.

"Aya!" Yuhi immediately forgot about the fight with Yuuna and walked directly at Aya's side. 'Aya?" he called out as he cradled her in his arms. A weak moan came out from Aya and her eyelashes flickered momentarily. Yuhi was relieved at that.

oOo

Currently at Aogiri resthouse…

Aya looked out the window; she noticed how bright and round the moon was. It was only a few minutes ago since Yuhi left her, thinking she had fallen asleep already.

"_Yuhi…thank you for doing all this. I hope there was a way I wouldn't make you worry anymore…"_ Aya thought. If only Yuhi knows how she appreciates all the things he had done for her and her daughter. Seeing that tired and concern look on his face before he left, Aya couldn't help but feel guilty.

_***_

"_Aya, please stop crying. Don't make this harder for yourself." _

'_But…Toya…in the end he couldn't be revived!" continuous tears fell from her eyes as she cries on Yuhi. It was so painful knowing the fact that there was no hope anymore that Toya will be revived. Masakazu himself said that it is impossible. No matter how he called, there was no spirit responding to his call._

_Yuhi inhaled deeply before speaking. "Aya, listen. Do you know what happened in the healer's house means?" he asked. He continued after Aya stopped crying and looked at him urging him to continue. "You have to stop this already."_

"_I thought you'll be with me till the end? Why are you saying this now? I don't want to forget Toya." Aya said weakly but with clear defiance._

"_No. Aya. I am not telling you to forget Toya. I only want you to move on. Live on because you are still alive." Yuhi cleared to her._

"_But how?"_

_Yuhi pulled Aya's hand to his heart. "Here."_

"_Until now, I've never forget all that happened in the past. Because it is where my most important memories are. You. And of course, Chidori and Toya and others." He slowly explained, weighing the situation whether to continue or not._

"_Yuhi…"_

"_I've already became friends with Toya so he's important to me too. I was hurt when he was gone suddenly. But Aya, life is still life. You have to live life as long as you're alive just as what Toya did knowing that he will die soon. I believed that he have lived life to its fullest and has no regrets anymore and wherever he is, he is happy and hopes that you and Reka are okay."_

"_I'm alive…" Aya whispered._

"_Yes."_

"_And as long as he is in my heart, he'll still be with me, right?" Aya asked. Tears started to appear in her eyes. "And Reka's heart too…"_

"_Yes…we'll never forget him. No one will. He is a very important person to us, whose memory deserves to be remembered and treasured…" Yuhi answered. Even he is starting to cry too because of all the dramas between them while talking about Toya…_

_***_

"Toya…wherever you are… I just want to tell you that I love you for always… _Semper Fedelis_… I'll always be faithful to our love…" Aya, before closing her eyes whispered as if Toya was there beside her, as always listening to all she wants to say before sleeping…

oOo

The next day, they have left the Aogiri resthouse to go back to Tokyo and start anew life. Yuuna already apologized for what he did during the ritual and Aya forgave him easily.

As the car drove off, Aya, with a smile on her face, looked outside the car's window. She stared at the house where they have stayed these past days. Warmth filled her heart remembering how the house caretakers took care of them…

She looked into the calm blue sky and mouthed two words before closing the window.

_Thank You._

­­­­­_____­________________________

Thanks and farewell…

Thanks for reading…

Until next time!


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